Fri, June 26

"Somebody Tweet This!"—11:13 AM

I love that even in my dreams, even in a panic state, I can still be a sarcastic smart-ass.

This morning, just before I woke up, I dreamed that MaryBeth and I were in Los Angeles (it seemed like Griffith Observatory, though I've never been) when suddenly a bunch of spaceships flew up. The first ones looked like those cross-winged fighters from Star Wars, but other ones were more nondescript. A couple of them fired rockets towards the hills a few miles away, which worried everyone, but I told her, "Hold on, let's see how fake this looks. If the explosion looks really fake when they land, it's probably a hoax." (Meanwhile I was thinking to myself, "Don't these idiots know anything? Spaceships fire laser beams.")

Well, the rockets hit their target somewhere near Mullholland and it looked pretty damn convincing. Everyone on the big observation deck where we were standing started screaming and running. I yelled out, as ironically as I could in a panicked mob, "Somebody tweet this!"

That's what I dream about: using my last breaths on this Earth to make fun of hipsters. It was a great dream.

1 comment

Whenever anyone says “I can’t,” it makes me wish he’d get stung to death by about ten thousand bees. When he says “I’ll try,” five thousand bees. (“I can,” one bee.)