Wed, December 3, 1997

I'd like to discuss the way we treat our Commander-In-Chief. A few weeks back, all the news shows talked about some new "incriminating" documents thay might or might not have actually been signed by Marilyn Monroe and President John F. Kennedy. Forgery or none, I am appalled that this kind of thing is being brought up. The man is one of our greatest leaders and his death is one of America's worst national tragedies, and yet our tabloid media cannot allow him to rest in peace. It is an unfortunate consequence of the fact that we live in an information age where everyone's business is our business and privacy is a thing of the past.

Which brings me to my point: Paula Jones (among others). Who cares? The America that re-elected Bill Clinton obviously doesn't. I don't. I think it's just Al D'Amato. But it has become a media event. We've gone from "boxers or briefs?" to "crooked or straight?" as we continue to pry into this man's private life in a fashion I find reprehensible. He is the leader of our country and should not be judged for any other reason. If you find fault with some of the mistakes he has made as he tries new things to try to make our country stronger and greater, that's fine. But you can't call him a bad president because of rumors about his private life. After all, we must realize that his life is more different than we can ever imagine. He has to know things and decide things on a daily basis that most of us never even know about. Pressures are enormous. Now, I believe that there is no excuse for infidelity and that it is absolutely unforgiveable under any circumstances, but I don't believe Paula Jones anyway. I just think he doesn't have time to properly dispose of the situation because he's busy running the country.

And the other stuff is completely forgiveable. He's certainly not corrupt. The same people who criticize him of waffling on issues turn around and accuse him of being swayed by wealthy campaign contributors. If he was governing for the rich fatcats, he'd be a lot firmer in his convictions. He's just giving them fun little experiences for their generosity. You see, each job comes with fringe benefits. If you work at a Starbucks, you get a free espresso or some croissants. Being the governor's wife allows you to make real estate deals that others might not be able to get away with. Being president gives you access to fun elements of America's political history like the Lincoln Bedroom. So you get to share those benefits with your friends. I'd be friends for a day with a guy who cut my team a $500,000 check. And that's what happens. Friends for a day. Take a tour, get a picture made, sleep in the bed, see the helicopter. He's not giving them tax breaks or missiles or making their nephews the Secretary of Defense. He's just showing them a good time. It's about time someone looked at the White House for what it is – awesome. Stop treating it like a monument and have fun with it. He appreciates how "cool" it is to sleep in the Lincoln Bedroom so he gives his friends the key.

And who cares where you make phone calls from? Clinton's opponents could come up with something better than that. Assuming that he and the adorable eco-friendly vice president did make those calls and assuming they charged the call to the White House account, is that so awful? $5 in long distance charges will hardly bankrupt this nation. It's like the Arlington National Cemetery thing. One guy who happens to be an enormous friend of the DNC gets buried there, and not entirely inappropriately – he had served in the military – and the nutjobs go crazy about it.

People need to relax and cut him some slack. After all, if we don't want to trust one man to make the big decisions for us, then we should return to a true democracy and everyone can vote on everything. Hope you have a lot of free time. He runs the free world for us and in return we put him up in a cool house with lots of fun gadgets and he gets to play with them for eight years. After that, it's somebody else's turn. If it still bothers you that he gets toys you don't, run for president. Maybe you'll see it's not all fun and games. There's a lot of work going on there, something we've lost sight of as we churn out endless "news" stories ending in "-gate" and ignore the real changes going on to make our nation better.

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