Sat, June 21, 2003

Because they want to get kids interested in American history and celebrate the 50 states, and because of the massive numismatist recruitment conspiracy, the U.S. Mint is producing a new quarter every ten weeks to commemorate the admission of another state into the Union. (Shockingly, this actually came with federal legislation, The 50 States Commemorative Coin Program Act.) This has captured the imaginations of schoolchildren from coast to coast, and has also attracted the attention of humorists.

First the Conan O'Brien show started airing comedy bits based on the quarters (displaying mock quarters with humorous scenes), then Brunching Shuttlecocks' Ratings feature focused on them. This week, Athletic Reporter co-creator Joe Mulder ranked the quarters so far contained in his collection. Personally, I am not collecting the quarters except in the spare change bin in my car. However, I rarely turn down an opportunity to express a glib and unconsidered opinion. Late to the party is better than not showing up at all, so here's my review of the entries so far:

(Apologies to Mulder and Sjöberg if some of my comments are lifted from their wise reviews. Some quarters you can only say so many things about, as evidenced by my predecessors' overlap on Georgia.)

Delaware

Much has been made of the fact that Caesar Rooney, the individual pictured on the back of Delaware's quarter, is a relative unknown. In my opinion, so is Delaware, so it kind of fits. Of greater concern to me is the inscription: "The First State." This is certainly something to be proud of, but it sounds like it was written by a first-grader. How about "First in the Union" or "Pioneers of Statehood" or even "An Easy Sell"?

Pennsylvania

Pennsylvania could have capitalized on being second the way Delaware capitalized on being first. "Before Us, There Was No Union" or "Making 'State' Into 'States'" Instead, they went with a statue, the state motto, a depiction of the state nickname ("The Keystone State") and an outline. Some are fans of the state outline; I'm less enthusiastic. After all, the U.S. Mint's design criteria list "official state flora and fauna, state icons [...] and outlines of the state" among the suggestions. I'm not that impressed by inside-the-box thinking. Particularly when the outline is so dull. Do we need an outline of Wyoming on a quarter?

New Jersey

Washington crossing the Delaware. It's an appropriate choice even if not a particularly creative one. But here's the problem I have: Quarters are little. There's no color (I'm aware you can buy them handpainted on the Internet) and what little detail is available is subject to obfuscation over years of grime and wear. You really should pick something a little less intricate. Even at its larger-than-life size here, it's tough to read the image. (I'm adding a star because my argument above is a little flimsy since this is a very iconic image to begin with; also because no state outline!)

Georgia

This is a delightful quarter. Simple, yes, but effective. The peach looks really good in bas-relief. (See, New Jersey this is the sort of image to go for.) And Georgia has a distinctive and attractive outline, so including it is a good choice. The only thing that needs changing is the banner, carrying the text "Wisdom Justice Moderation." It's too delicate, too busy, and from the Georgians I know, hypocritical.

Connecticut

Yes, it's just a tree. And yes you have to squint to see that it's "The Charter Oak." But it looks really great. Another perfect choice for teensy shiny bas-relief. I had to read the Mint's site to learn why the Charter Oak is important, but since it is I'm proud to have it on a quarter. Two reasons: sticking to the basics, no people or staged events, just a simple powerful icon; also, the balls-out approach of picking one thing and going with that (see Louisiana).

Massachusetts

Massachusetts has missed a golden opportunity to memorialize Banacek on their state quarter. (Peppard would probably have been second only to JFK for being the closest to a living person on coinage, but I'm not looking that up.) Points for going topographical with the outline (see New York), but I'm not a fan of covering up part of the state. With Pennsylvania it's at least passable because the outline is pretty static in the obscured part. I prefer the Georgia model of fitting something within the outline if you're overlapping. Somehow if I lived in central Massachusetts, I would feel really marginalized.

Maryland

Classic, elegant, reserved. I'm a big proponent of negative space. In a piece of artwork roughly the size of, say, a quarter, its necessity is even more pronounced. Also, the letters in "The Old Line State" can be rearranged to spell "Eel Tot Held Stain." Tell me that's not powerful quartering! I'm digging the framing foliage on the sides as well. The circle-shaped canvas creates an odd constraint. Way to make lemonade from those lemons!

South Carolina

I'm probably allowing my personal disdain for South Carolina to color my judgment, but hey! My prerogative! You want to make your own state quarters list?? (Statistically, odds are you already did.) Anyway, rather uncreative jamming the state bird, flower, motto, tree, outline, and capital all in together. Seems a little indecisive. South Carolina's not a pretty outline, but we have to admit that the best part of the state and the most interesting part of the outline is the coastline. Which is obscured.

New Hampshire

This one has become somewhat ironic because the depicted landmark has crumbled away. I guess that makes it all the nicer that it's immortalized on the quarter, but it still seems odd. Also, it tops "Washington crossing the Delaware" for "not readable at quarter size." "Live Free Or Die" is a great motto though. I like it on the license plates and I like it here. If I were New Hampshire, I too would be milking it for all it's worth. (Can a rock formation really be "immortalized"? Was it ever mortal?)

Virginia

I like the ships. Somewhat unconventional choice (i.e., no bird or outline), but I admire precision from a state with plenty of things to choose from. I'm also pleased by the pre-celebration of the Jamestown Quadricentennial, which comes up in 2007. The quarters came out in 2000, which to some means "jumping the gun." To me, they're "growing into it." They saw an opportunity to commemorate a pretty big event, and they wisely said, "Sure we'll take it on the chin for the first seven years. But, you know, between now and the end of time, it's going to be after 2007 a lot more than it's going to be before 2007." Well played. (Also, I like the mention of Jamestown because in high school that was the first suggestion my spell-checker always gave if my name was in a document. Second was "Jamesian," which upset me because it reminded me of my propensity, like Henry James, toward overloading sentences with too many modifying clauses.)

New York

Now we're talking bas-relief! That state is topographical, baby! And the Statue of Liberty, an elegant if predictable touch. Despite the fact that there are many elements (stars, motto, outline, statue) it doesn't seem overloaded, and I'm willing to overlook the fact that the statue overlaps part of the state because we all know that New York state is just the constitutionally necessary extension of New York City because cities can't be states.

North Carolina

This is a good scene for a quarter. (New Jersey would've put clouds and birds in the sky to clutter it all up.) Anything that reminds me of North By Northwest is certainly cool. And I like the "First Flight" thing because it's part of the ongoing battle with Ohio. In the license plate realm, they both claim "First In Flight," so here North Carolina defines its terms a little more specifically. And they got the first jab, so they're off to a commanding lead!

Rhode Island

Not a fantastic choice of scene. Or at least I would've represented the water more economically. Especially at the left, where the ripples sort of seem to detach from the water as a whole. I think it's meant to be an artistic device but it conveys either "the picture is unraveling" or "the ripples are washing ashore and this boat is sailing in some very shallow water." In either case, a little disturbing considering that one of the stated goals of the 50 State Quarters program is to "promote the diffusion of knowledge among the youth of the United States," not to scare them out of their Rugrats PJs!

Vermont

I'm a big fan of the simple scene. Connecticut; North Carolina. This is how it's done. And to top it off, they've done some subtle but elegant depth of field work with the etching. Managing to place the mountain clearly behind the maple sap scene even given the tiny depth at which all this occurs. Bravo! It actually makes me want to visit. (I'm told that's Camel's Hump Mountain, by the way, which eliminates some of the romance.) Also, the design was initiated under Howard Dean's watch, which is cool to me. Maybe I'll collect these things after all.

Kentucky

Interesting. I am happy with the simple scene. (See, the front of the quarter is relatively simple and just shows you something to look at. That's why I like it if the back of the quarter is a simple scene making a straightforward statement, instead of a distracting mishmash of images.) However, the execution here leaves something to be desired. I guess the Treasury Department does the etching rather than the individual states, so maybe it's just a faulty design or maybe there are different artists. Anyway, the grass and the fence are competing with the horse and degrading its readability, making this a less than successful design.

Tennessee

I think this oversimplifies a little. Guitar; violin (fiddle?); trumpet; sheet music; stars. "Musical Heritage." I don't know that much about Tennessee's history (but it seems like the Tennesseans should). Couldn't anything more be dredged up? This is also an excellent opportunity for some framing foliage. The whole thing is almost too simple. It looks like someone was out late the night before their project was due.

Ohio

Second to the party, Ohio is forced to settle for "Birthplace of Aviation Pioneers" in the ongoing battle with North Carolina over flight. If that's the best you can deliver on the "First In Flight" thing, maybe it's time to get your state a new claim to fame. There's a river named after you for Christ's sake! Also, due to the restriction against a "portrait of a living person," Armstrong/Glenn are reduced to an astronaut outfit. Is Ohio the outfit's birthplace? Or have they stuffed a non-living aviation pioneer in there? (I'm impressed with the Mint's restriction, though; a good way to maintain the dignity of the coin. You'd hate to put someone on there who's famous and virtuous now, but after the quarters hit the streets he rapes someone and now you've got a rapist on your quarter. Oh, wait; there's already one on the nickel.) The Wright Brothers plane is also conspicuously flying away from the viewer; probably going to North Carolina, along with any remaining aviation-related notoriety.

Louisiana

This is the embodiment of bad quarter design. First, I cannot stand idly by while someone illustrates a musical instrument with musical notes coming out of it. Does this remind anyone else of the kind of design choice the teacher would make decorating the third grade bulletin board? One of the things I like about music is that it's not visual, which means you can do something else while you enjoy it. Musical notes and "aroma lines" are just cheap ways of indicating that all other senses should be translated into sight, the "dominant sense." (Besides, was anyone confused? "What's that hydraulic toilet plunger doing– oh, musical notes! That must be a trumpet!") The Louisiana Purchase element is odd because celebrating that your state is now less than one-fifteenth of its original size seems confusing to me. I'd get into the pelican also, but I've already said too much about this crowded, indecisive design.

Indiana

Another non-favorite. The perspective on the Formula One racecar makes it virtually indistinguishable from a Star Wars spacecraft and somehow the quarter manages to feel crowded despite a pleasingly small number of elements. I'm proud of the outline choice, though. Rather than just a raised outline like Ohio, Indiana has filled the outline in. While less compelling than the topographic choice, this will still make a much better rubbing than the Ohio quarter would.

Mississippi

This simultaneously exemplifies one of the best elements of quarter design and one of the worst. The magnolia flowers are excellent; they fill the unconventional circle shape nicely and they read well in relief at the small size. Not that I need to spend any extra time looking at magnolias, but they look beautiful and it's nice to have something positive to think of when considering Mississippi. The fancy script, however, is the worst way to go. "The Magnolia State" should really be printed in regular block letters like everybody else. (Since the quarter is metal, there's a Steel Magnolias joke here, but I'm good. I steered clear of "starting quarter back" on Delaware, too.)

Illinois

Now that's how you handle an outline! Notice that young Lincoln is contained entirely within the outline without blocking out any of the lines. Pennsylvania and Massachusetts could learn a lesson here. The skyline is an excellent touch, providing an elegant link between past and present (and, evidently, depicting for us how Chicago would look if terrorists leveled the the Sears Tower). This could be a top quarter if not for the "21st State/Century" thing which is not only weak and bizarre but also goes directly against the "dating your quarter" corollary discussed above (see Virginia).

Alabama

There appears to be Braille on this quarter. I understand the idea of extending the Helen Keller tribute, but at this size it's ridiculous. The crenellations on the side are plenty. It's impressive enough that the blind can distinguish one denomination from another; let's not expect them to read microscopic Braille inscriptions, too. The quarter does deserve credit in the education department; without it, I'd probably never have known she was from there. And it's a quarter with happy memories. I'm reminded of the hilarious results of reading "The Miracle Worker" "in the round" in the eighth grade. Framing with vegetation is always a good idea.

Maine

This is an attractive quarter, and illustrates the water approach I think Rhode Island should have adopted. However, I can't in good conscience go crazy about Louisiana's musical notes and let Maine off the hook with its "lighthouse rays." Who among us can't figure out there's light coming from the lighthouse? However, the cliffs look great in bas-relief and I think I've actually been to that lighthouse, so I'm giving it five stars anyway. (Plus it kind of reminds me of the very end of every Seinfeld episode.)

Missouri

I had to consult the U.S. Mint's site to figure out what was going on in this scene. Apparently it has something to do with Lewis & Clark returning to St. Louis. Which makes the Gateway Arch a little anachronistic. Based on the confusing design, I'd say this quarter leaves something to be desired. The reading on the site tells the story of how Missouri got its nickname "The Show Me State," which would make a much better story for the quarter. Although I don't know how you'd illustrate it. If you think I flew off the handle on those musical notes, just wait until someone puts a speech bubble on a quarter!

Arkansas

This is an oddly interesting quarter. The more I look at it, the more I like it. Initially I would have voted it down because it's a little crowded, but it's been growing on me. The diamond is interesting and the natural scene is pleasant and looks good in quarter form. Also, anyone that shows up Rhode Island in the water department deserves some credit in my book.

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