Tue, July 1, 2003

Virtually everyone I know is getting married or about to get married or just got married. Add to that some weddings I've attended previously, and I've started to notice something kind of interesting. It seems like there are two types of weddings.

(I always hate it when someone says "there are two types" of something. It's one of those turns of phrase that I just don't cotton to. I'm all for simplifying a situation to make a point, but "there are two types" oversimplifies so much that the point is invalidated. Don't say "There are two types of people. People who liked Mrs. Doubtfire, and people who didn't like Mrs. Doubtfire." What about people who didn't like Mrs. Doubtfire and only have one leg? Are we to believe that they're the same as people who didn't like Mrs. Doubtfire but still have all their appendages? There are at least three types of people, and that's not even counting amputees who liked Mrs. Doubtfire.)

So, there are two types of weddings. Weddings where most of the guests are your friends, and weddings where most of the guests are your parents' friends. (Particularly for people in my age group who are just a few years out of college and still have that close connection to their family of origin. Once you're not going home every Christmas, the parents' friends thing starts to settle down.) It seems like the former is sort of a celebration, like a party, and the latter is more of an event, like a graduation or bar mitzvah.

I guess it depends on your view. If you're devoted to the ritualistic event-type formality of the thing, then the family friends is more the way to go. If your view of marriage is more about your love for that special person than the life event, then you angle toward the celebration. What I'm getting to here is: I'm really glad my parents don't have any friends. Don't get me wrong; it's not that they're weird loners or anything. They just (like me) see the value in a few very close friends rather than a giant gaggle of mere acquaintances. Which is great for me, because then I can have their friends and my friends at my wedding, without feeling like it would tip the balance toward "event." The irony here is that we all know I'm going to die alone; this isn't just my defeatist world view talking, this fact was confirmed a few years back by a statuesque a cappella amateur palmist at a bowling alley, a few months before she started not dating a friend of mine.

But still, I go to weddings (this year, I'm approaching the title of Professional Wedding Attendee; two more ceremonies and I get my guild card). And (fortunately) I'm not there as anyone's parent's friend, so I tend to prefer the ones that are celebration-based and not event-based. And that makes me proud of my parents for being celebration kind of people. In their circle, they take a fair amount of heat for being reserved and preferring an evening alone together to some blowout with dozens of other couples they see once a year. But, when it really counts, I think their way is the best way.

THE LATEST FROM POOP READING:

© onebee · all rights reserved