Tue, August 19, 2003

I always thought it would be easier to make up nonsense about whatever popped into my head. Well, while my lovely sister was visiting last week, it turns out there just wasn't time. Rather than racking my brain to initiate the return to new content with anything insightful, I figured I'd just rate another entirely random category. How about a few selected UC campuses?

Berkeley

This is the UC campus at which I have spent the most time. I'm not a fan of Birkenstocks, but otherwise I like it. Good location, nice looking campus, great neighborhood including Amoeba Records which is a wonderful music store and just recently debuted here in L.A. for its first time outside the bay area. Berkeley's known for its way-out left-wing politics, but considering the current California political climate, I'd say that's just what we need.

Davis

This is where they filmed the first season of Sorority Life for MTV, and it did not paint a pretty picture of the campus, buildings, or people associated with UC Davis. It is by no means a proud distinction to be the university which prominently defeated the stereotype of sorority girls as hot.

Los Angeles

UCLA is the other L.A. school I might've attended if I hadn't been accepted at USC. The main reasons I didn't apply are that when we showed up to tour the campus, a clearly uninterested admissions flunky pointed us toward some poorly mimeographed informational maps rather than helping us schedule an actual tour; and also, they required the SAT II, which meant writing essays and that's no fun. UCLA has a nicer campus, hotter girls, and more welcoming surroundings, but USC (flawed as it is) was probably still the right call because I met some great friends there. In fact, 100% of my closest newlywed/sports-parody-writing/videotape-librarian friends were met at USC.

Merced

Never heard of it. Merced is a font. What?

Riverside

UCR's online fact sheet proclaims the discovery of a sweeter juicier grapefruit at their Agricultural Experiment Station. I once attended a seminar on packaging microwave dinners at the University of Florida. Are the two related? I don't know. I've already used "never heard of it." I had to do something.

San Francisco

A friend applied to their nursing program and I hear it's very very good. I've been inside a building or two on the campus, but otherwise I know virtually nothing about it. According to the website, its the smallest in population and size of the UC campuses, but "its relative size belies its distinction as one of the leading biomedical research" blah blah blah. I like it when I'm not the only one using the word "belies."

Santa Barbara

Sports the highest number of Nobel-laureate faculty of any university on the planet. In addition to that, Santa Barbara is a truly beautiful community, probably the most pleasant in Southern California, which is saying something. I've only visited the campus once, and some of the buildings were kind of ugly. But with coastal views, who cares? (Also, the website has a weather section which indicates the current barometer reading in the familiar Hg as well as something called "hPa" which I've never heard of. Wow!)

Santa Cruz

UCSC's mascot is the banana slug, which most of us know because it's on the T-shirt John Travolta wears in Pulp Fiction after having the brains of a young Phil LaMarr hosed off of him. We saw Tarantino in Westwood the other night, no doubt discussing his new film which is so full of his own self-congratulation that it had to be cut into two halves in order to fit into theatres. What a retard. It has Lucy Liu, though, so I still can't wait. Phil LaMarr was excellent as a number of voices on the recently canceled Futurama.
UCSC
Tarantino
Liu
Kill Bill
Futurama

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