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Sears Thinks Middle School Is A Rave—4:02 PM

Sears has a new back-to-school ad campaign featuring Vanessa Hudgens (who's cute as a button, even with her clothes on) and the tagline: "Don't just go back. Arrive."

I applaud the attempt to make the dreaded start of a new school year sound fun, but remaking it as a red carpet paparazzi gala sends a weird message. Adding the word "lounge" makes me no less queasy. I'm imagining fourth-graders splayed across velvet chaises holding a cosmo in one hand and firing off text messages with the other. (I'd rather imagine fourth-graders doing something a little more wholesome – or much, much naughtier.)

I suppose it makes sense, though; we've got spellcheck and Google to give us anything we might have learned in school – what's important is to be seen.

Also: Sears for back-to-school shopping? When I think of clothes, pencils, and notebooks, I think of Target. Sears is for dishwashers, ratchet sets, and buckshot. Of all the stores to make a push for hip tween couture... Sears?!

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