Mon, May 19, 2003

Judging from the number of people who immediately sent me email when they heard that Ari Fleischer announced his resignation, I seem to have developed some sort of reputation for disliking the guy. I suppose that's fair, considering the fact that I hate him like poison and I've called him just about every mean name in the book.

Fleischer says he wants to spend more time with his wife (that poor woman; we should take up a collection for her) and take a break from the stress of his press secretary job. He says he'll enter the private sector and he envisions himself doing the speaking circuit which I think is hilarious. I'm sure plenty of people will pay to hear him speak, but I'm just imagining those Q-and-A sessions afterwards:

Q: I'm a poli-sci major. What sorts of internships should I pursue if I want to try to become a White House Press Secretary someday?

A: I don't have to answer that. America is founded on core beliefs: beliefs of family, of hard work, of opportunity. What I do or what you do is irrelevant to the discussion at hand and I'm not going to speculate.

Q: It seems like a stressful job to be spokesman for the president. Is it fun, too?

A: What's your source on that? I think I've answered that question. Refer any other questions to the DOD.

Q: Can I get my parking validated?

A: You're a communist.

***

The Associated Press article on his resignation fascinates me, because it mentions most of the main reasons I hate him, but it seems to regard these as "just part of the job." AP writer Ron Fournier called him "cautious and calibrating" and said he "frustrated reporters by constantly refusing to answer the toughest questions." But he mentions this like it's a character quirk! Oh that silly Ari, always refusing to answer questions from the press! But he's the Press Secretary!

Fournier mentions that Ari's withdrawn attitude towards facts is "in keeping with a White House that keeps a tight lid on information," as if some administrations communicate with the public that they govern and some do not. It's their choice really. If we get one that doesn't, we should just sit back and hold all questions until the second term is over. What?! Fleischer has also, by Fournier's account, "earned Bush's respect by taming what the president considers to be a hostile press corps." If I had any respect left for Bush, that would have eliminated it. There's a difference between inquisitive and hostile. I think it says a lot about a president that he regards someone asking the government for information as "hostile." I also take issue with Fournier's use of the term "taming."

"Hey! I'm a lion tamer!"

"Really? Wow."

"Yeah, I tamed this lion here."

"Um, it looks like you just put it in a very small soundproof box and ignored it for the better part of two years."

"Yep. Tame isn't he?"

"Have you been prodding it with that stick, too?"

"It's all part of the taming process."

***

I like the Joe Lockhart quote though. Lockhart is not necessarily the ideal press secretary, but more the kind I like. He was chummier and kinder, but still did the tough work. Anyway, he said of Fleischer (in the AP article; I have to specify my source because who knows if Fournier pulled a Jayson Blair and made it up) "I think he was an articulate spokesman in a difficult situation, working for a president who demanded secrecy beyond what was really called for." Well said! Fleischer never gave the impression that he was at all chagrined by having to withhold so much information, so I wouldn't put the blame on Bush to the point of giving Fleischer any credit. But the "more secrecy than necessary" evaluation is spot-on.

Q: What's the president having for lunch? I hear he likes tuna fish.

A: That's a flagrant lie. I'm having you deported. This press briefing is over.

Anyway, I'm delighted he's leaving. (Fleischer's resignation is due "in July" – I wish he'd do it on the 4th; what an Independence Day!) It will be great to be able to turn on the news without seeing him, and it sets the stage for a fascinating experiment... what will the new guy be like? Will he be the same smarmy little fucktart, or will he take a different tack on the same approach of stonewalling the press? Or will he pull off a miracle and actually open the White House up to information?

© onebee · all rights reserved