Thu, August 18, 2005
Teething Ring Tones—2:42 PM
So this is how Dakota Fanning keeps in touch with her agent. A cell phone is now being marketed for toddlers. They can call from a list set up by a parent, and there are programmable buttons to dial Mommy or Daddy directly. Of course, if you look at the Mommy and Daddy buttons, they're a bit confusing.
First of all, the parents in these pictures have no arms. Also, apparently Mom is never seen outside of a Cinderella ball gown and Dad trots around in a Flash Gordon outfit with extremely tight pants. Whose parents look like this? You'll also notice that no alternative phone is provided with two Flash Gordons or two Cinderellas. Rick Santorum is certainly behind this pernicious slight.
In 1995, Clueless portrayed high schoolers gabbing on cell phones by their lockers as a send-up of nouveau-riche excess. We're well past that now. Oh, and don't forget the hands-free headset, for the 3-year-old on the go!
"Yeah listen, Tyler, I'm gonna have to call you back later. This sandbox isn't going to shit in itself."
