Fri, April 28
Sex Toys for Her—10:20 PM
After reading Regina Lynn's column about how sex toys are often designed by men – emphasizing phallic form over female gratification, reassuring guys that their equipment is indispensable to the female orgasm – I became curious and did some research on sex toys designed by women. The results of my quest are posted here in case anyone should find them interesting.
While some of the products are hideously functional and look like something out of Dead Ringers, most of them feature soft, natural lines and a sleek design that would be appropriate for a conversation piece on the mantel:
Others are less discreet, but focus on choice, like the Athena from Berman Center.
Then there's furniture, like the Substation, which uses ergonomics to increase the pleasure of oral sex, while appearing entirely innocent when not in use. (Not that there's anything "guilty" about oral sex. Just ask any high-schooler.)
Finally, a couple of products which include a few fellas on their design teams, but still take a unique approach to keeping the girls happy:
Big Teaze Toys, tub toys with vibrating cores and carefully placed pressure points. There are several in the menagerie, but the original duck and the wormie seem the cutest and most eager to please.
Je Joue, a slender, hand-held massager that stores a variety of "grooves": sequences of fluctuating vibration frequency, duration, and movement – fully swappable, remixable, customizable, and downloadable. Basically, an iPod for your clitoris. Truly innovative and user-focused. I can't see why a woman would buy any other vibrator.
2 comments
Thu, April 27
Further afield—9:32 AM
It's exceedingly rare that I write anything for the Internet which isn't published at onebee, but it does happen sometimes. It's also rare for me to do a few minutes to a half hour of research about some news story that has made a blip on my admittedly rusty current events radar.
These universes collided yesterday when I read about the Kaavya Viswanathan "plagiarism" "scandal" in yesterday's American Voices at The Onion. Curious, I dug around for a bit and found a listing which compares Viswanathan's book to the books of Megan McCafferty which sport the similar phrases.
(Ironic plagiarism side note: McCafferty's website was the one given to me as a reference for designing the site of junior chicklit's finest author to date, Beth Mayall. Fortunately, the design we chose incorporated more "loose interpretation" and less "verbatim copying.")
I read a couple of other articles, and ended up at a blog entry written by another chicklit author (I think), and added my two cents:
Why didn't she steal the good parts, rather than stuff this generic?
Seems to me "generic" is the key term. How many different ways are there to describe getting someone's attention? You could probably find dozens of books using the phrase "tapped him on the shoulder."
Stacked up in a long list, the similarities sure seem damning. But with the similarities in character and broad strokes of plot (which seem all but dictated by the genre), you're bound to see more overlaps than you would with a book about, say, diamond miners in outer space. You're going to go shopping. Your friends are going to lose weight and grow boobs. Better to spend your time writing the story than hunting down ways to describe these mundane developments without repeating any of the same words past authors have employed.
(Needless to say, my uninformed opinions have already been excoriated.)
I'm always looking for ways to maximize efficiency by leveraging existing writing as "fresh" onebee content. (As evidenced earlier this week.) So, I'll be adding most of my outside comments back to onebee (except for comments at Arksie's or AC's blogs, where I comment too often – and I also assume a sizeable readership overlap).
In the spirit of intellectual property theft, I'll go ahead and call this "Further afield," ripping off the same idea from Jason Kottke.
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Tue, April 25
A Purple Place
A story about companionship, sorrow, and seahorses. (Read more.)
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Short Fiction at the Bee!—11:20 AM
I've been interested in adding a short fiction section to onebee since its inception. (In fact, the Bionicle Fan Fiction section was one attempt at serialized fiction, but imploded under the weight of my expectations for it.)
I'm really hoping that some of my time in Florida will be spent writing short stories and things like that. Really writing them, like coming up with ideas, writing them out, organizing them, revising them, and formulating coherent and entertaining stories with a point.
Right now, I'm too busy unpacking boxes.
But I'm also busy cleaning out the closet from my old room at my parents' place (we had to clear out for carpet installers), and I found a notebook from my 12th grade creative writing class. So, I'm kicking things off with a very brief story – almost more of a stream-of-consciousness exercise – from September of 1995, which I absolutely do not recall writing.
It's wholly disconcerting to read something I wrote that long ago, especially since I have no recollection of writing it. No idea why I wrote it (whether there was a particular prompt, or just a "free write"); no idea what I was thinking about while I wrote it; no idea what I meant for it to say (if anything). This particular piece (which I've retroactively titled A Purple Place) seems particularly ripe for psychoanalysis. I really wonder if it tapped into something I was feeling at the time, or if I just randomly dashed it out as fast as my hand could write in order to meet a deadline.
It is kind of funny to notice that my predilection for wedging random non-sequiturs into a piece – sometimes at the expense of a cohesive tone – has been around for at least a decade. At least now I know what to work on!
Hope you enjoy the piece. There are certainly more to come. (Until I figure out a plan, I'm tentatively restricting comments on the fiction posts – so feel free to comment about them here. I just think it might be nice to allow new readers to experience them without comment – if you have any thoughts about this idea, I'm eager to hear those, too.)
1 comment with related links
Thu, April 20
Can Terry Do It?
(Where "it" is "win Survivor: Exile Island.") Realistically, no. Of course he can't. But in terms of awesome television? Maybe. (Read more.)
3 comments with related links
Mon, April 17
This is who we're up against—2:13 PM
Overheard on Fox News today. (You try finding a lunch spot in a red state that doesn't have FNC blaring from the TV behind the bar!)
Juliet Huddy: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have decided to have their baby in Namibia.
[a few seconds of co-host Mike Jerrick mispronouncing "Namibia" as "NAM-ibia" to try to whip up as much swift-boat frenzy as possible]
Huddy: The infant mortality rate in Namibia per 1,000 births is 48. In the United States, it's 6 per 1,000 births. In Namibia, the average life expectancy from birth is only 43.
Jerrick: Why would she want to take that chance?!
2 comments with related links
Fri, April 14
The State of TV Comedy
Despite the cancellation of Arrested Development, I still think we might be experiencing the revivial of television comedy. (Read more.)
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State of Grace—12:12 PM
Almost a year and a half ago, I met Grace – the most adorable two-year-old you'll ever see. I was at her house for a play date with her parents: onebee readers and spiritual benefactors Brandon and Christi. You know them? From the comments section? They're wonderful people, and it's such a joy to know their daughter. Grace has the sweetest, most vibrant personality, and she is immediately welcoming and ready to play.
Shortly thereafter, Grace's doctors diagnosed her with autism, and life in her family underwent a big change. Her devoted and adoring parents have been working with doctors and other professionals to give Grace the best care and learn everything they can about autism. Grace is in great shape, and continues to improve. She will always be affected in some ways, but a deeper understanding of the causes and effective treatments of autism will only benefit her and every autistic child.
Next weekend, Brandon and Christi will continue their undying commitment by participating in WALK NOW, a fundraising walk on behalf of Cure Autism Now. For them, it's a way to increase autism's visibility and support new and ongoing research. For the rest of us, this is a great opportunity to support a worthy cause, and three even worthier individuals. If you're interested, Christi has set up a web page at WALK NOW's site where you can donate to Team Grace and help them reach their goal of $2000. They've already crossed the halfway mark – I'm sure if we pull together we can help them collect the rest. Please consider giving what you can, and pass the link along to anyone who might be interested.
Here it is in TinyURL form, for easy sharing: http://tinyurl.com/gepx5
1 comment with related links
Wed, April 12
The State of The Simpsons—8:18 AM
So, the Simpsons movie has been announced, and "Entertainment Weekly" says it's being helmed by Mike Scully and the other superstar Simpsons writers from the show's heyday. This might be a great thing – a strong, hilarious movie from the guys who shepherded the series through its best episodes, in the style of those episodes, could reenergize the show and kick of a Renaissance of better episodes that live up to the greatness that once was. They've already hedged their bets by signing Albert Brooks to a guest appearance in the film.
On the other hand, the movie could be a dud. Will these guys feel beholden to the path the show has taken in the last six or seven years, even though it's pretty much universally agreed that that path has been a steep decline?
Worse yet, this could mean that – with all the most talented Simpsons vets across the hall toiling on the big-screen feature – the show is left in the hands of the same amateurs who have been ruining it for the past half-decade. As a certain spike-haired young rapscallion might say, "Ay, caramba!"
If I were convening a panel of five experts to discuss and analyze the history of the Simpsons, only one or two of them would be guys who don't regularly comment on this site – so I open the floor for discussion. What does the Simpsons movie mean, and can The Simpsons be saved?
3 comments with related links
Tue, April 11
The State of Survivor
With eight contestants remaining, we're halfway through the thinning of this year's Survivor herd – a nice time to take stock of who's left. (Also, in politics, they say that for every letter you receive you should assume there are 1,000 constituents with the same opinion who didn't take the time to write. By that logic, over a thousand of you demanded the return of the onebee Survivor column!) (Read more.)
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Fri, April 7
I'd rather watch Arli$$—12:00 AM
What TV show am I least interested in watching? Will & Grace? The View? Nope. Modern Men? Close, but no. You've got to dig down beneath The 700 Club and HSN's Hummels and Commemmorative Plates Hour.
All the way to: Bonds on Bonds.
1 comment
Sat, April 1
Indy Rock Dept.—11:22 PM
Five dollars if you can find me this headline on a sports page tomorrow:
Mbah! Dop a Doo-Wah!
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The End of Days—10:39 PM
Was that Dreyfuss I just saw in a split-second appearance in the Poseidon trailer?
Holy shit. It was.
I'm scared. And cold. So cold...
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