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Darnedest Things Dept.—10:45 AM

As kids, we all went through a period – maybe only a day, maybe less – when we found it funny to say "bad-bye" instead of "good-bye." It can't have been just me; it's one of those silly kid things to do, feeling all grown up and powerful because you've mastered the antonym. "Screw social norms, I'll say 'bad-bye' if I want!" It was even mentioned on the Seinfeld "Bizarro Jerry" episode.

But "goodbye" is actually a contracted form of "God be with you." (Sorry, kids – just when you think you've got the English language down pinned down, it'll surprise you!) The proper opposite would be more like "Satan-bye" or, my preference, "Beelzebye." Hope this is helpful, kiddies – keep those letters coming!

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