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Mia Culpa

one TribCon too many or two TribCons too few?

Remember that strange form we saw crawling out of the muck a couple of episodes ago? It dragged itself to some damp, shady area and seemed to stay pretty still. But inside, there were lots of changes going on. And now, at last, it emerges – like a butterfly from her chrysalis – as a fully-formed Giant Survivor Twist. It's still a little rough around the edges, but it's enough to shock the competitors and change the game.

It goes something like this: the reward and immunity challenges will be combined. (Hey, great! I've decided I need to give up and learn to love this; why have anything happen in the second half of the show?) The team that wins reward will have the opportunity to compete amongst itself for individual immunity. Yes, individual immunity on week three. I know what you're thinking, and you're right – terrible idea. Not only that, but this is reminiscent of the Poncho Challenge on All-Stars. If you're going to run the immunity challenge right after the reward challenge, why not let both teams compete again? It seems unfair and pointless to tie the result of one challenge to the result of another. The whole point of having two challenges a week (other than filling an hour) is that teams have multiple chances to win something. Maybe immunity, maybe a reward that will help them do better on future challenges.

But Probst is having none of it, so he explains that both teams will compete for a reward (spear!) and then the winning team will go to tribal council with the winner of the immunity challenge individually immune, then the other team will go to tribal council with one member immune because the winner of the immunity challenge will visit their camp and share his immunity with one of them. So, Burnett would rather give us half as many challenges and twice as many Tribal Councils. More voting! I understand the electoral process is really hott right now.

My favorite part of the challenge is when Probst introduces the teams. He's always so excited to say "take your first look at the new [whichever tribe just went to TribCon]," like it's going to shock the hell out of the other tribe. This time, Lopevi has to be told who's absent, and even after they hear "Dolly" they have to be reminded which one she is. Hmmmm, maybe there are too many contestants this year? Can we have four TribCons this week?

The fellas win the spear in a frenzy of knot-untying, key-lassoing, and gate-opening. At one point, they throw a grappling hook after a key too hard and lose the end of the rope. Instead of operating with their other hook and going after more keys, they stop everything and use hook two to retrieve hook one. Yet they still win. Astonishing.

Then, John K. puts his mechanical bull operating skills to use and digs up the rungs to a ladder puzzle, assembling and ascending it the fastest. This means he wins individual immunity and heads off to Yasur, where they and America will have to be reminded who the hell he is. It's an arbitrary, bizarre twist which lacks any strategic element and serves only to upend the players' expectations – but at least it's huge and complicated.

Interestingly, while John interviews that he wants to use his visit to Yasur to be friendly in case of a future merge, as soon as he gets there the power goes straight to his head and he starts ordering the team members around. (I guess it's just instinct, surrounded by so many women.) He splits them into the group that voted for Dolly and the group that voted for Leann, and for some reason, they're completely honest about who they voted for. Maybe they've already all talked about it. He doesn't even ask nicely, he just tells them to go sit together so he can interrogate them. Eliza makes short work of alienating herself from everyone by impressing upon John that she's not allied with the group she's in, she just voted to save her own ass. Somehow, his first impression of her is that she talks way too much. Not quite sure where he's getting that.

The other three ladies take their opportunity with John to get catty. Which is unfortunate, because if he were actually basing his decision on these interviews, it might cause him to side with the Dolly voters. Their options are to make a reasoned argument for their voting decision, or flirt with him mercilessly. After the crazed outburst at the start of the show, the team is divided evenly between Twila voters and Mia voters, so John knows who will need the immunity most.

On the Lopevi beach, JP is interested in taking advantage of Lea's frustration with Rory, and insinuating himself into the older alliance in Rory's place. It's a nice idea, not voting all the younger, stronger guys off first. But it's also a pretty transparent move to whittle away at the sizable numbers advantage held by the older alliance. If they put their strategy on hold to eliminate Rory, the 5:3 split becomes 4:3, but if they stay on course, it becomes 5:2. Apparently, Lea has never seen Survivor before, because he opts to stick with the plan and vote for JP. If JP were Johnny Fairplay, people would be falling all over themselves to needlessly delay his elimination, but suddenly the smart strategy is winning out. I'm not yet a big fan of Chris, but he puts it well: "It just isn't the time." Damn right. Don't let him derail you and stage a coup.

Lopevi heads to Tribal Council, where they meet up with John K. and eliminate John P. (Yes! No more initials!) I'm sad to see that Brady votes for Rory with the Johns, because I like when he votes outside of alliances, a lone wolf. Maybe he thought the vote for Rory was random, and it's a coincidence that he's voting with these guys.

From the departing John P.: "No way was I outwitted, outplayed, or outlasted." Well, by definition you were outlasted, hon. There's no other way to look at that. "Outlast" means "remain on the island longer than." Seven people from your team alone outlasted you. Outwitted? Yeah, that too, pretty much. Can't be eliminated this early in the game without being outwitted. And while perhaps you weren't outplayed in the physical sense, strategically you were outmaneuvered and eliminated, which is what they mean when they say "outplay." Besides, I think it's really funny that someone would think they deserve to stay in the game because, "Well, I followed the rules as laid out on the flag." It's just a slogan, dope.

John K. hangs out while Lopevi shuffles off and Yasur parades in. He raises a middle finger to Probst, Burnett, and the Twist Police by handing his individual immunity over to Ami, who is probably the person who's least likely to catch a vote. He tells the ladies, "you guys need to figure out who you're going to vote for." Wow, mechanical bull operator and impromptu relationship counselor for strangers. What a prince. I don't know what he hopes to accomplish with this, because it's fairly obvious that both groups would come to TribCon with a primary target and a backup in case he bestows immunity upon the primary. So, if he leaves both primary targets vulnerable, they'll be voted for. And they are. Twila gets three votes, while the other five eliminate Mia, including Lisa from the younger alliance. One reason the younger group isn't faring so well at Yasur is that one of them always defects to the other voting bloc. Probably not a good overall strategy. Mia gets in plenty of eye-rolling as the votes are read, then mentions in her exit interview that her goal was "to never get my name written down." And, in service of that goal, she screamed and fought with Twila in front of everyone? I hope she's not too surprised that that didn't work.

Meanwhile, Yasur has treated Tribal Council like a group therapy session. When everyone gangs up on Twila about being an outsider, she defends herself by explaining that she's always been a tomboy and doesn't get along well with girly girls. She feels excluded by the prettier ladies on the team, and it's true – it's pretty easy to see a split when everyone else is walking around in bikinis and you're wearing a one-piece. (This is one area in which Twila's unlike Sue Hawk; Sue brought the bikini, because she fancies herself a sexpot.) Ami asks Twila if she's tried to make a connection with the two-piece clan and Twila must admit that she has not. She feels it would be futile, so why try? Ami offers to braid her hair when they get back to camp, and Twila starts to come around. Wow, life on the all-girl team is exactly as we always believed. Makeovers, marshmallows, and Mystery Date. I wonder if they'll make good on their word and include Twila – and, if so, how it will affect the voting.

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