Wed, December 24

Addendum—10:13 AM

I'm now doing all my writing at cocktail-napkin length. Deal with it.

-It seems to me the major flaw in Howie Mandel's new hidden-camera show, Howie Do It (aside from the title, the concept, and everything else) is that it depends on people being able to recognize Howie Mandel when he rips off the wig. I know Deal or No Deal is far more popular than I care to imagine, but you've gotta believe a significant number of takes are spoiled by people saying, "Oh my God, it's... wait, who are you?" Or, "Oh my God, it turns out the asshole stranger who's been humiliating me is bald in conflict with my initial assumptions!"

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Fri, December 5

With Apologies to Norm Macdonald as Larry King—2:03 AM

-Plaxico Burress has been put on the "non-football" injury list after inadvertently shooting himself in the leg at a nightclub. "Non-football injury?" I don't follow the NFL that closely, but it seems to me that being involved in a nightclub shooting is like the third most common way for a football player to be injured.

-Is it just me, or does anyone else think Revolutionary Road sounds too much like Road to Perdition to be a separate movie by the same guy? It's like if Jim Cameron made a completely different sci-fi movie called Terminate Her: who pays to see that? He's got to be pulling your leg.

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